“He eats all the bacon I can give him!” exclaims proud Grandmama. “Brothers, sisters, aunts! Nothings off limits to this little piggy! I even fed him his own mother and he purred like a wittle kitten! Have you ever heard a pig purr?!”
Reporter steps back in disgust.
“I’ll bet you haven’t!” continues giddy Grandmama. “It was the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in all my life! I wish he had two Mommas so I could hear it again! It was even more beautiful than the star spangled banner played at my late husbands funeral. It was a sad day as we didn’t have much to bury. This little piggy found my old Hank first!”
Reporter takes a second step back.
“Oh where you goin?!” shouts Grandmama. “He ain’t gonna take a bite out of you! He’s full! He ate the neighbors cat just five minutes before you got here! I love this little piggy with all my heart and hope to one day give this little piggy a bacon burial so he can continue eatin away in the afterlife with my dear old Hanky!”
